欧亨利短篇小说集(34)

"I"lltellyoutherightway.Didyoueverseeamansneakoutinthebackyardandpickuparocktothrowatatomcatthatwassittingonafencelookingathim?Hepretendshehasn"tgotathinginhishand,andthatthecatdon"tseehim,andthathedon"tseethecat.That"stheidea.Neverdragherhandoutwhereshe"llhavetotakenoticeofit.Don"tletherknowthatyouthinksheknowsyouhavetheleastideasheisawareyouareholdingherhand.Thatwasmyruleoftactics;andasfarasPaisley"sserenadeabouthostilitiesandmisadventurewent,hemightaswellhavebeenreadingtoheratime-tableoftheSundaytrainsthatstopatOceanGrove,NewJersey.
"OnenightwhenIbeatPaisleytothebenchbyonepipeful,myfriendshipgetssubsidisedforaminute,andIasksMrs.Jessupifshedidn"tthinka"H"waseasiertowritethana"J."Inasecondherheadwasmashingtheoleanderflowerinmybutton-hole,andIleanedoverand--butIdidn"t.
""Ifyoudon"tmind,"saysI,standingup,"we"llwaitforPaisleytocomebeforefinishingthis.I"veneverdoneanythingdishonourableyettoourfriendship,andthiswon"tbequitefair."
""Mr.Hicks,"saysMrs.Jessup,lookingatmepeculiarinthedark,"ifitwasn"tforbutonething,I"daskyoutohikeyourselfdownthegulchandneverdisresumeyourvisitstomyhouse."